For good

"I've heard it said", sings Glinda in the musical Wicked, "that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and they help us in return." Is this true? Does it bear up to scrutiny?

I have spent a while examining my string of failed romances, aborted launches, and false starts. I’ve pondered what occurred, as forensically as a participant can. A serious reckoning. I stopped short of 360 degree feedback ala Nick Hornby (though I was tempted by the thought of actually interviewing all my former partners!) but still 'high fidelity' unlike so many of them. An alchemical accounting rather than an intellectual exercise. I put on my winged helmet and sandals, held my caduceus and stood in judgement over my failures.

What reasons have people come into my life? Have I been trained and guided by their influence? Did they help me most to grow? Perhaps, but I feel like I have been pulled up by the roots at regular intervals and pruned, twisted and stunted. In effect, bonsaied.

Although the word 'bon-sai' is Japanese, the art it describes, 'pun-sai' originated in China. The earliest containerised trees were peculiarly-shaped and twisted specimens from the wilds. They could not be used for any practical, ordinary purposes such as lumber or firewood. Their grotesque forms were reminiscent of yoga postures, bent-back on themselves, re-circulating vital fluids. 

Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But I have been changed for good.