Best Before

I was on a first date the other day. We'd chatted for ages on dating apps etc and, well, you know how it is; people are busy and calendars are hard to align and, well, if you're not really sure or feeling a bit stretched... it had been years of chatting, quiet admiration, and unspoken expectation. The date was great. A lovely, summery, January day. We had lunch. He was clever, compact, charming, considerate, cheeky. And that's only the 'c's. The other letters were just as good. We clicked. An instant connection.

Ideal really. There was one downside though. Just one. It emerged towards the end of the date. Just one downside, but it was a biggie. He was poised to leave the country. Permanently. Or for years at least. Off on an adventure. July at the earliest, but more likely October. In other words, he had a "use-by date". A "best before".

Ok. Deep. Breaths.

And then the most unexpected thing happened. The connection deepened. We could let down the firewalls, lower the drawbridges, send home the guards. There was no need for barriers. This was zero risk. Breach the walls, have the keep. Our levels of intimacy skyrocketed. We could share and be vulnerable. It wasn't an investment any longer - no need for compound interest. It was a holiday bromance, but in our own town, with our familiar settings and comforts. A feast to be consumed, not a harvest to be extended. We went to movies, the theatre, dinners, camping, and quiet nights in. No need for family introductions and getting on with friends. And it was good. Or so I thought.

Until one day, at the end of May. You're probably thinking it was the departure day. That the use by date had arrived. No, it was much worse. We were at the beach. He said that he had started to develop feelings for me. "What" I said. "But you can't be! That's not what we agreed. You're going away! You can't be doing that". It was a breach of contract! Accidentally in love.

Arguably I think we only ever really fall in love accidentally. It can be a very painfully transient thing. “But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember” says Gotye. Real love, the best love, sneaks up on you and you're gone before you can escape. Stitched up. But this? This was a Kobayashi Maru. A no-win situation. Stay here with me and abandon your dreams? Fall for him and abandon my heart as he abandons the country. It collapsed. Perhaps we'll be friends. Another one that got away. Perhaps The One, that got away.

I now think that all boyfriends should come with a best before date. It would just save such a lot of angst.

How ironic though, that the use-by date turned out not to be the use-by date.